Step out, step up and to make your 2013 a year of real transformation

Kia Ora (Greetings)

This 'Soapbox' is a little different to the usual. Today we seek to embolden you to step out, step up and to make your 2013 a year of real transformation. In challenging you to step out and up, we must do this ourselves - hence this communication. We cannot take opportunities we do not know exist so today's Soapbox is about getting the word out about some upcoming learning and development opportunities. We often get feedback about not being bold enough in promoting our services so this email is unashamedly intended to remedy that.

We know if you read this newsletter is it because you are committed to your growth. You have been exposed to our work somehow or other; perhaps in a course room through The Icehouse, a public course, a corporate training or a conference somewhere. Maybe you have been introduced to us recently or we have worked together for years. Regardless, we believe you have more potential yet and this is the year to let it out! This is the year to consciously evolve yourself and your enterprise. We want to help you do just that.

PERSONAL GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES…
In case our particular offerings are relevant to your own goals and aspirations this year, we have public workshops coming up in three highly relevant growth areas. If you sense an impulse in you to take the next steps in your own evolution, details for workshops on offer in the next 6 weeks are below.

HIGH PERFORMANCE ORGANISATIONS…
We also want to highlight the opportunities that can open up for businesses that engage in personal development for leaders and teams. Whatever level of teamwork is needed to make your enterprise flourish, the quality of contribution from every single person influences all business results. If you want to attract and retain talented people, you must provide them with opportunities to learn and grow.

Our heartiest encouragement is that you back yourself, your organisation, and your vision this year. Make 2013 the year you changed gears. Make it the year you consciously refined yourself and your enterprise to be even more 'fit for purpose' than ever. Make 2013 the year to consciously evolve towards the highest aspirations and deepest yearnings you can. It may take a little daring, with a dash of risk, willingness to cooperate with your most positive potential, and a good dose of self-belief. With these ingredients you can cook up a life that is an even more wonderful contribution to the whole and a joy to experience as your own. At Presenter at Large we deeply believe in this possibility and use it as the 'true north' orientation for our own work.

We are fortunate to have great advocates for our own mission to significantly contribute to a more conscious and better human world through transformational education. We look forward to supporting you in fulfilling your own purpose and mission in life and in that, we remain at your service.

Arohanui, (and a happy Waitangi Day Wednesday for all our Kiwi subscribers!)
Amanda and Jude

PUBLIC WORKSHOPS - COMING UP VERY SOON

ACTIVATE YOUR HUMAN SUPERPOWERS (AYHSP’s)
Auckland February 16/17 (10am - 5pm both days)
If you sense an impulse in you to grow beyond any current limitations, or you want to consciously take the next steps in your personal evolution, unleash more creativity, contribute more, or release any handbrakes from your past, then this workshop is for you. We all have extraordinary powers that when matured; allow us to live the life of the fully expressed human. Secure your space on this practical workshop by registering here or contact Amanda with any questions. Come along with three or more friends and you can attend for $150 per person instead of the already crazy price of $195!! Not only will you have fun learning together, you will have a ready-made mutual support team of mates off the back end! Think about the value of that... If all this resonates somewhere inside, trust your guts and we’ll see you there!

ESSENTIALLY SPEAKING
Auckland March 1/2/3
We all know ‘engagement’ is critical when learning, communicating and working at whatever we do. Humans thrive on challenge and stimulation. You might be very passionate about your expertise but if you cannot connect and engage with your audience your efforts will impact your effectiveness. If you want to build your confidence and get your message across effectively, let us help you build your skills and your conviction. Feedback from this workshop is consistent re the immediate usefulness of the material and the transformational nature of the work. It ‘works’ and the results are lasting. Make this your year for communicating more effectively with individuals and groups. You can register here. NOTE: For workshops in Melbourne contact Jen Grinter at jengrinter@optusnet.com.au

THE ESSENCE OF FACILITATION
Auckland March 15/16/17
In two and a half days you will significantly enhance your value as a leader, teacher or trainer in all group settings by growing your awareness of the obvious and more subtle aspects of facilitation. This workshop is highly experiencial and suited to those fully engaged in and committed to their own growth. It is especially helpful for learning and development professionals of all persuasions. Spaces are limited so register your interest now to avoid disappointment.

BUSINESS KEYNOTES AND WORKSHOPS

Take advantage of a 2013 kick off energizer session and allow us to introduce your staff to their own superpowers. Between now and the end of our financial year (March 31), we are offering our client businesses a three-hour introduction to 'Activating Your Human Superpowers'. Every participant will receive an ecopy of the book by the same name. (We can supply hard copies for an additional 'cost only' price). Let us help ignite the fire in the bellies that will power up your enterprise and help you face whatever challenges are in store for 2013. Let us help your people drive innovation, creativity and growth. We are offering 50% off the full fee but we only have limited space in the diary so contact us now to book your session. (available only in New Zealand)

TEAMWORK, LEADERSHIP, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, COMMUNICATION, PRESENTATION AND FACILITATION SKILLS...
These are just a few the specialties we work with in-house with organisations and businesses. If you want to make the most of your team potential, consider meeting with us to discuss your training needs this year. We are one of very few truly transformational training organisations in the country, and we stand by our work with money-back guarantees. Contact Amanda to discuss your needs and we will send you an obligation-free proposal at no cost. You can read what others say about our work here.

RESOURCES - BOOKS FOR SALE

"I CAN SPEAK CLEARLY - now the pain has gone"
This book is a self-help guide to confident and competent presenting. The approach is principles based and as such maintains relevance in these changing times. If you are willing to find out what more you are (and there is always more to find), this book will help you express yourself. Read the ‘pre-reading bite’ here and see if this book is for you. "I CAN SPEAK CLEARLY" is available in Mobi (for Kindle), EPUB, PDF and paperback. You can get all versions here. This book is a great companion to the Essentially Speaking workshop - currently offered in Auckland and Melbourne.

"ACTIVATE YOUR HUMAN SUPERPOWERS - a path to your potential"
This book is Amanda’s latest (published late last year). It is also available in E and paperback formats. AYHSP’s is a powerful seed sower. It is a guide to happier living and personal fulfillment. In essence this book introduces the reader to five powers that when matured become ‘superpowers’ that are natural to fully matured humans. Read the ‘pre-reading bite’ here and see if this book is for you. It paints an expansive view of life for those who seek to co-create a better world. Get your copy here.

NOTE: ALL PROFITS FROM BOOK SALES GO TOWARDS SCHOLARSHIP PLACES ON PUBLIC WORKSHOPS.

There is such potential for change in the air - change for the better, for us all. Here’s to 2013 being one of those ‘best ever’ years!

Cheers,
Amanda and Jude

PS: The Soapbox will be back to the regular format next time. We appreciate you passing this email on and letting your friends and colleagues know we are here. Thanks!

Client Feedback:

ACTIVATE YOUR HUMAN SUPERPOWERS - feedback from Amanda’s new book:

"I loved this book, Fleming certainly has done her work. The information and the wealth of wisdom is astounding, I use it with my clients and I suggest they buy the book for themselves. I have read a lot of self help books but this is well written, well laid out and clearly Fleming understands the journey towards an individuals true potential. Very rarely to I give 5 stars but this is in a league far surpassing other self help books, its a must buy."

- Pattie (Seattle)

A DELICATE MATTER WITH FAR REACHING CONSEQUENCES

Aussie Prime Minister Julia Gillards’ announcement of the terms of reference of a Royal Commission of enquiry into sexual abuse of children in churches, schools and government institutions is a bold move (even though it shouldn’t be seen as such) and its going to uncover cans of worms for sure. It will no doubt bring at least some relief as victims are heard, perhaps for the first time. It will bring back traumatic memories for victims in those settings, and it will no doubt stir the pot for countless others abused in different settings by so called friends and family members – the very people children need to be able to trust. Most abuse victims have some sort of relationship with the abuser. The Royal Commission may have some pedophiles and predators ever so slightly concerned too. I wonder if any will be so remorseful as to own up and face their music?

In New Zealand we have plenty of sexual predators in our own back yard and it is safe to say those who are caught and prosecuted are a minority of the number who are offending. We can only guesstimate how many boys and girls, and women of all ages, have been and are subjected to sexual abuse. Despite progress in recent years, the whole subject is still relatively taboo but it is clear that a culture of abuse of women and children is deeply ingrained in human societies all over the world.

The ongoing furore over BBC TV personality Jimmy Saville’s long term offending with impunity, stories of cover-ups and all the ducking and diving that inevitably accompanies such investigations can surely be the tiniest tip of the iceberg in the UK too. It is an example of how blinded we can become when we don’t want to see. Then there is the recent hideous rape and murder of an innocent young woman in India, out for a movie and minding her own business with a friend. This widely publicized atrocity has highlighted the prevalence of rape and the abuse of women in Indian culture and has created calls for cultural change which will hopefully only grow louder. The human trafficking and the sex slave business continues to be a multi billion dollar industry and plenty of other cultures see women and children as exploitable commodities. Young men on Youtube having a laugh about a mate raping a comatose teen, is a modern example of some common and truly disturbing attitudes. From my view we are a pretty sick and immature species when seen through the sex lens.

So what are we to do about ourselves and our dysfunction? Perhaps our problems can be addressed in part through education along with the growth of a strong culture of intolerance of abuse. Victims also need to be empowered to speak up in a safe environment. This is easier said than done. It is incredibly easy to frighten or otherwise coerce a child (and even an adult) into silence. We are wired to survive, even if our silence plants the seeds of dis-ease inside as our experiences left unresolved eat away at self-esteem over time.

I understand this ‘eating away’ feeling well. My own sexual abuse happened one night when I was staying with my best friend’s family – on my very first summer holiday away from home. I was there for my seventh birthday. This family generously invited my brother and I to go away with them at a time when my mother (who was our sole parent) was unable to fund such a holiday herself. We were all very grateful and I was beside myself with excitement. That excitement turned to fear and simply surviving my holiday after the very first night – I was there for a week, which at seven years old felt like eternity.

My best friends’ father (who I had known for a year or so) woke me up with his activity and I can still vividly remember realizing what was happening and somehow swallowing the scream that rose up from my guts. I knew if he knew I was awake and aware he would have to kill me to stop me telling on him (this was my logic) so I endured the violation and pretended to be asleep. The next day I maneuvered a change to my sleeping space and each long night I stayed awake after everyone else when to sleep. He only came back one other time and when he saw I was awake he went away. I could only sleep once I knew he did. My fear of him kept me quiet long after the holiday. I did not disclose the incident until twenty years later. He died never knowing I knew what he did. He was never confronted and he abused other children too as I have come to discover. I still feel a sense of responsibility for that, even though none of the other children seem to have spoken out either. We let him ‘get away with it’.

You might think I must be mad not speaking up. I have certainly wondered myself over the years. I was a front line police officer for seven years for goodness sake! I had every resource I needed to file an historic complaint. I was close so many times and fear always stopped me. I would justify it was all so long ago. It was my word against his. My childhood memory would be discredited as fantasy. He was well liked in his community. I had no proof or witnesses. I didn’t want people seeing me as ‘tainted’ by it. Possibly the fear of being disbelieved was then the biggest block to my taking action. The responsibility of causing harm to my best friend and her mum weighed heavily too. I didn’t want to make a fuss and cause trouble. There were many facets to my silence. The times were different then and my procrastinations just grew into years and then decades of inaction regarding ‘him’. For myself, I did the work to resolve my own issues with it all and moved on as much as I could. It may seem weird to you but I still feel proud of a seven year old me that managed to minimize this to a one off experience – all by myself!

Today it might seem much easier for victims to speak up but we are still a long way from living in a culture where respect for each other regardless of age or gender is the norm. It is never ok to violate another person. The harm done is more costly on more levels than we realize and the solutions more complex than can be dealt with via laws alone. It is self-evident that for behaviour to change attitudes must change and for attitudes to change, values must change. We are living in a time where the devaluing of women and children is eroding societal fabric. It's a dangerous game to play using women as objects of pleasure and children as exploitable. We are creating a culture of fear when we could create a culture of care. 

Oh that it were as easy as applying respect respect and respect as a balm on everything and everyone. How our world might be different! May the victims in Australia and everywhere discover ways to re-empower themselves and not succumb to the slide into life-long ‘victim’ where the perpetrator retains the power. Reclaim your power (whatever it takes) and reclaim your life.

And that’s it, from my view.